Balanced Screams
by Shimegami
Summary: Kid gives Chrona a haircut. And in doing so discovers something surprising. AU from chapters 30-ish onward, and spoilers for Chrona in general. Yaoi.
1. The Discovery

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own Soul Eater. If anything, it owns me.  
**Warnings**: None for this chapter.

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**Author's Notes**

All right. It's time I tried writing for Soul Eater.

And now, I am out to answer that most pressing of fandom questions, that contradicts itself and never provides solid proof one way or the other.

That question is...IS CHRONA A GODDAMN BOY OR GIRL.

My opinion?

BOY.

Let's see the evidence!

Points to boy:  
Dialog (talks and sounds like a boy)  
Specifically says "I don't how to deal with girls".  
Seems older than Maka and yet is even flatter than her. As in, THERE IS NOTHING THERE. CHRONA HAS NO TRACKS OF LAND, NOT EVEN TINY ONES.

Points to girl:  
The outfits, young!Chrona especially. Dresses. (Although, the older outfit can be construed as some sort of priest/acolyte wear, because it looks suspiciously like a black recolor of the male acolyte uniform in Ragnarok Online.)  
Severely objects to the skirt being pulled up.  
Is a total wilting flower (or weeping uke, if you will).  
The name is rather feminine.

So...my theory? Medusa had a boy, was disappointed that he was not a girl, and so began to crossdress and condition him to be a girl for the rest of his life, adding even more mental scars to the poor kid besides the whole black blood insanity deal.

Points that can go either way:  
Androgynous face (but then, half the male characters of Soul Eater could probably dress in drag and everyone would be convinced they'd be girls. Yes, I'm looking at you, Kid and Spirit.)  
Girls can speak like boys for a more tomboyish appeal (Maka sometimes does this).

THAT'S MY THEORY, AND UNTIL I SEE CHRONA NAKED WITH PROOF OF GIRLY BITS, I WILL BELIEVE SO.

Moving on.

Randomly? Until a better prospect comes along, I think I will write Kid/boy!Chrona. NO ONE WILL STOP ME.

So...onwards to fic!

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**Chapter One**: The Discovery

His eyes drifted to the left, and once again he had to force himself to look straight ahead. Yet, inevitably, he'd find himself looking in that direction yet again.

It was a nuisance. Both the thing he was looking at, and the fact that he couldn't _stop_ looking at it. It was the same feeling he had when he felt as if perhaps he hadn't perfectly aligned his pictures that day (Speaking of which, was it just him, or was that one on the left side of the dining hall listing a bit to the side? He'd have to check it...but no, not right now. Ignore it, ignore it...).

Forcing his eyes down to the plate, he made himself arrange his food in a perfectly symmetrical manner to distract himself from both the painting and the _thing_ to his left. Damn it, he had an odd number of peas. He popped one in his mouth to make them even.

And with that one action realization, he realized that he could fix the nuisance on his left side. The picture would wait until after dinner, so he wouldn't embarrass his father in front of his friends. They were holding a formal dinner for his team and the newly-arrived Deathscythes at Executor's Mansion where he and his father lived, and it would do no good to measure the picture eight times until he was sure it was straight.

That was undignified. But this, this other thing he could fix. It was the end of the dinner, anyways, where everyone was chatting happily and some slowly drifting away from the table. He turned to his left.

"Chrona, would you mind coming with me?"

"Eh?" The human experiment of a mad witch jumped, as if she hadn't expected anyone to address someone like her, since Maka was across and farther down the table. Large black eyes stared up at him, pupils so wide they almost totally obscured the color of the eyes themselves, a lavender matching their owner's hair.

Closing his eyes, Kid turned swiftly. "Come. There is something I must talk to you about."

"Oh...-o-okay.." Standing, Chrona followed Kid out of the dining room. In silence they walked, Kid in the lead with his usual brisk steps and Chrona lagging behind, gripping her right arm as always. Kid grimaced slightly. So insecure. She shouldn't have to be, once he fixed..._that_.

Leading them into Liz's room, he gestured toward the taller sister's vanity. Everything he needed was here, even though the state of disarray of the surface made him feel a little ill. He would have a talk to the sisters lately about proper cleaning and arranging their belongings.

He gestured towards the stool in front of the vanity. "Sit down."

Chrona did so, still looking rather lost. Then again, that was Chrona's expression for most everything.

Kid decided to get to the bottom of the problem directly and perfectly. "Your appearance disgusts me. And I'm going to fix it. Hold still, and keep that weapon of yours out of this."

"Uh...?" The black eyes blinked, before Chrona bit her lip. "I'm not so good at controlling Ragnarok if he wants to come out...but I can try...I don't know how, though..."

"Just tell him that if he comes out, I'll blow him away. I don't have patience for him today."

Nodding quickly, Chrona straightened up in the stool, and Kid smirked. He could begin.

Selecting the tool he needed from Liz's hairdressing supplies, he turned towards the thin figure on the stool before him.

"That lock of hair on the right side of your face is longer than the left. It makes you asymmetrical, and it makes me sick. So I'm going to fix it."

Chrona could barely get out a confused "Wha...?" before Kid leaned forward, grabbing the object of his irritation in one hand. Using his eyes, so adjusted to finding these sorts of things, he measured out the exact length, and swiftly chopped off the offending hair. The severed lavender strands drifted down softly as Chrona sat shock-still.

Kid straightened back up, smiling in genuine happiness as his unease faded. "Ah, absolutely perfect. Now, is the rest of the hair okay...?"

Kid circled the girl, chopping off places where the shorter fringe was uneven. Finally, all of Chrona's hair was even, and the longer strands of hair perfectly symmetrical. Kid circled back around to the front, grinning at his masterpiece. Chrona still seemed to be in a state of shock.

"Absolutely perfect." Kid repeated, feeling proud of himself. Now that Chrona was perfectly symmetrical, he could concentrate on other things. "You need better clothes...don't you own anything else beside that dress?"

Chrona didn't reply for a moment, totally motionless for a moment, before she picked up a few strands of her hair that had fallen into her lap. "No one's ever given me a real haircut before...what should I do...?"

Kid blinked. "No haircuts? But your hair is all short...if no one's ever cut your hair, it should be at least as long as Liz's hair."

Shifting on the stool, Chrona looked off to the side, muttering for a moment. "...Ragnarok cut it to tease me. Whenever he was mad...and there was something sharp around...he would chop off bits of it...no one's just...cut my hair...just to make it look better..."

Ah. That explained why all of Chrona's hair had been so uneven. "Well, I'm here now, so your hair will be properly cut from now on. I will not allow myself be surrounding by even more people with horrid hairstyles."

Black Star's hair still made him twitch every time he saw it, and the less said about Soul, the better. Maka was the only one out of the bunch that had an idea of style.

"Ah...thank you..." The shy girl bowed her head, and Kid was fairly sure he saw her cheeks turn red. Now that she was perfectly symmetrical, he had to admit...she looked nice. No matter how evil she had been, Medusa had had the good grace to pass down her good looks to her child.

"Well then...I suppose I should get you some more clothes as well. That thing you're wearing is practically wearing through at the seams. I don't know if you'd like anything in Liz's wardrobe, but..."

He began walking towards Liz's closet when Chrona reached out. "Ah, no...please...I-I don't..."

He turned, puzzled. "What is it? You don't want what?"

Blushing again, Chrona returned to staring at her lap.

And then, without warning, she twitched, and Ragnarok popped out, making his strange noise, before he started laughing hysterically, pulling at one of Chrona's cheeks. "What's the matter, Chrona? Don't want the pretty Death God finding out about _that_?" Chrona whined, tugging at Ragnarok's hands. "No, stop it, Ragnarok...that hurts...no, not my nose...!"

Baffled, Kid merely stared for a minute as the strange master-and-weapon pair fought like an overly-abusive pair of siblings. Finally, he found his voice. "Find out about what?"

"N-Nothing!!" Chrona stood up, flailing with Ragnarok still. "It's nothing...I don't know anything about clothes...so I don't need any new ones...really...!"

Kid blinked again. "What do you mean? You _do_ need new ones...would you rather I take you shopping instead? Liz's clothes usually are pretty revealing..."

Ragnarok cackled. "Exactly! And Chrona doesn't want _that_ to be revealed!"

"Ragnarok!" Chrona cried desperately, reaching up with both hands as if she was trying to push the weapon back into her body.

"Reveal what? What's _that_?" Kid parroted stupidly, the strangeness of the two beings in front of him making him feel as if he was about to go a little insane himself.

"Reveal this!" Chrona, who had let go of Ragnarok's arms in trying to push him back, was not fast enough to stop the blood-weapon from suddenly stretching his arms down and grabbing the edge of Chrona's dress. Without warning, he yanked it up to Chrona's chest in a second.

Chrona shrieked, and Kid felt as his jaw really had hit the floor, his mouth had fallen open so quickly.

Staring at the pair in front of him, he could think of only one thing to sputter out.

"Y-You're a boy!?"

-TBC-

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	2. The Missed Chance

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own Soul Eater. If anything, it owns me.  
**Warnings**: None for this chapter.

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**Chapter Two:** The Missed Chance

Kid stared several long seconds at the scene in front of him.

His mind point-blank refused to work at all. Crona, shy, slightly insane Crona, was a boy. They'd all assumed he'd been a girl. The dress, the face. The only hint had been the way Crona talked.

Well, and the lack of any sort of chest development, but Kid really wasn't one to pay attention to such things, even if Crona had really nice long legs that seemed to go on forever--

Kid promptly pulled the cord on that train of thought, off-railing it, crashing it, and then burning it for good measures. Straightening himself with a cough - was he blushing? His cheeks were hot, damn he had to be - he managed a weak smile at the revealed boy, who had finally wrestled the hem of the dress away from Ragnarok and was now covered decently.

"Well, we won't be using Liz's closet for you, that's for sure..." He lapsed off into awkward silence. It remained that way for several minutes, Crona clutching at his arm like always and staring at the ground, mortified, and Kid determinedly fixing his gaze on Crona, on a place that cuold in no way be considered erotic--burn that thought train too.

Crona's dress was not symmetrical. It almost was, right up until the neck. It was not buttoned all the way up, and the buttons just threw the symmetry all off. Now, with Crona's hair no longer a distraction, his obsession was drawn by those darn little buttons. Crona did need new clothes, but now there was nothing to fit the slender boy. It was slightly galling, but the only ones in there little group who were tall and lanky enough to match Crona's slim frame were Liz and Tsubaki, who were both girls. And now, knowing what he did, Kid refused to allow the travesty of the dress on Crona any longer.

Of course. That's all he had to do.

He strolled forward purposefully, ignoring Crona's sudden babbles of apologies and attempts at hiding in the corner, and grabbed his arm. Startled, the lavender-haired teen followed in a daze as Kid dragged him through the house and outside.

After several minutes of walking, the wielder of Ragnarok - who had thankfully disappeared after he'd pulled up Crona's dress - finally mustered up the courage to actually ask a question. Kid was impressed.

"W-W-Where are we going...?"

"Shopping," Kid replied in his usual brisk manner. "You still need clothes, and ones of the correct gender. None of mine will fit you, so we are going shopping."

"B-But I've never been shopping...I-I don't know what to do..."

"Just follow me. I'll show you."

And with the finality in Kid's answered, they walked in silence for the remainder of the trip.

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"I-I don't know w-what to do with all these clothes..."

Kid sighed slightly. Shopping for Crona was easy in one way, for the boy had simple tastes. He preferred mostly monochrome schemes of black and white, with an occasional red or burgundy item thrown in somewhere. The difficult part was dragging the information out of the boy. It had taken forever to get him to even say what colors he liked, which was after a long debate over how he didn't know what colors he liked and how was he supposed to decide when he didn't know?

After the colors, then came the styles. That had been much easier, to Kid's relief. True to his shy, timid nature, Crona preferred clothes that covered as much bare skin as possible - if it didn't remind him of Medusa so much, the boy would probably hide in an endless amount of black hoodie jackets.

A surprise, though, was the fits Crona chose. COnsidering the modest style of the clothes he picked, it was surprising that he seemed to prefer tighter clothes.

Then again, after seeing how a T-shirt that was supposedly Crona's size seemed to swamp the stick-thin teen, perhaps closer-fitting clothes were the better option.

So, after several hours - at which point was long into the night and the tailor had only been staying since Kid had flashed his father's card at him - they'd finally collected enough outfits for Crona to wear every day of the week, and a few extras besides. He also now had acceptable formal wear and other such things. All were, of course, perfectly symmetrical. Kid felt that even Liz couldn't have done a better job. Crona stood in place, arms filled with the bundle of bags, eyes wide and bewildered, showing off their natural lavender color.

Rolling his eyes slightly, Kid stepped forward and grabbed a few bags off the mountain that seemed to threaten to topple Crona over at any minute. "Come on. You take the clothes home and put them in your dresser or closet, it's not that hard." With that, he started walking out of the store, before Crona's soft voice stopped him.

"My room doesn't have a dresser...or a closet...and Mr. Corner would get the clothes all dirty..."

Kid turned back, belatedly remembered the bare state of the room in Shibusen which Crona occupied. He stood there for a moment, debating. On one hand, Crona wielded the Demon Sword Ragnarok, and could become a liability at any moment should any remnants of Medusa's influence return. On the other hand...the shy boy didn't deserve to be treated like a prisoner. And Kid knew of only one place safer than Shibusen, and one that enemies would never dare look for fear of invoking the wrath of a god.

His own house.

Deciding, he nodded. "Then you'll get a new room, with both a dresser and a closet, and I will show you how to use them."

Startled, crona looked up for once. "N-New room...? Where?"

"My house. There are plenty of unused rooms. And it will be more comfortable for you. Now come!"

Used to following orders, Crona stumbled forward at Kid's imperious tone of voice unconsciously, following the young god home. Kid did not know if his father would approve of his spontaneous decision, but it would certainly help the poor soul which had landed in their care. And his father was nothing if not compassionate.

In another part of town, closer to Shibusen, a small green frog hopped about listlessly, slightly fearful of the report she had to make.

Eruka had lost Crona, and couldn't find him again. Even Medusa couldn't sense his presence.

Hoping this wouldn't cause Medusa to kill her on the spot, Eruka started to head back to base.

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	3. The Obligatory Awkward Moment

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own Soul Eater. If anything, it owns me.  
**Warnings**: Slight sexual references.

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**Chapter Three:** The Obligatory Awkward Moment

This was it, Eruka decided. She was going to die.

Occupying a child's body had not reduced Medusa's chilling atmosphere one bit. If anything, it only made her more creepy, with that aura behind an innocent face. However, that face was looking anything but innocent right now.

The snake witch was hissing - literally hissing! - with anger, the crackling energy of one of her snakes encircling her.

"You mean to tell me you lost Crona? In such a small place like Death City?"

Eruka trembled as much as her frog form would let her. "I-I'm sorry, Medusa! B-But he wasn't in Shibusen anywhere...!"

"Where else would he be!? That worthless experiment can't decide his way out of a paper bag, much less work up the nerve to leave that room they placed him in willingly."

"C-can't you track him with your snakes, like me...?" Eruka ventured, trying to distract Medusa's anger as far away from herself as possible.

"Only if I've placed one within him recently. That cursed black blood kills them within hours, so I can't know where he is unless I see him every day. He must be in the city somewhere, abducted by those annoying students, but he'll be back to that room! Now go back to Shibusen and stay there!"

With that, Medusa kicked the frog out of the room. Eruka, once she had landed from her impromptu flight, was only too glad to hop away as fast as her legs could take her.

She'd take sitting on a windowsill for days over staying in the same room as an angry snake. As least the windowsill wouldn't kill her.

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Crona stared at the room, mind whirling.

It was just so luxurious, and tasteful, and just so...symmetrical.

The bed was in the exact middle across from the door, one of those huge four-post beds with drapes hanging down. Everything was either black, white, or a deep shade of red, like the walls. Two doors were placed exactly opposite of each other on either side of the room, with full-length mirrors decorating both.

In fact, the only non-symmetrical thing was that there was a desk in one corner, and a dresser in the other, though both were obviously crafted to be a set, along with the bed.

Kid was wrinkling his nose at those corners, but he strode into the room none-the-less, plopping down his share of the shopping bags in the corner that contained the dresser. Crona stumbled after him, only too willing to set down his own bags. Who knew clothes could be so heavy?

"That's the closet door." Kid stated, jerking his thumb towards the door on this side of the room. "The other door is your bathroom. I'm sorry about the decor, but Father wouldn't let me organize every room to be perfect."

Crona blindly wondered what Kid thought perfect would be, and was suddenly glad that this wasn't it. He would have no idea what to do with most likely two of everything in here, aside from the bed. His head was spinning enough as it was.

Kid was staring at him expectedly, as if awaiting an answer, though Crona had no idea what he was supposed to say. This was just so big, and nice, and...and...

"I don't know what to name all of the Mr. Corners!" He blurted the first thing in his mind, and immediately cursed himself inwardly when Kid's eyebrows shot into his hairline, strange yellow-ringed eyes wide. He looked down at his feet awkwardly, instinctively grabbing at his right arm.

Kid's hand suddenly tugged at his left, swatting it away from clutching his other arm close. "Stop that."

Crona blinked, left hand hovering in the air indecisively. The urge to grip his right arm close in comfort was strong, but Kid was giving him a challenging glare. Weakly, he let it drop back by his side.

Kid actually smiled slightly at him then, and Crona knew he was blushing. "It makes you unsymmetrical. And you have nothing to fear here. So don't do that."

His left hand twitched in his embarrassment, but he forced it to stay at his side as he hung his head again. "O-Okay."

A warm hand was suddenly on his left shoulder, and he looked up in surprise. Kid was still smiling at him, a little softer this time, and Crona couldn't help but stare at him. He had no idea what to do with all of this...this..kindness towards himself, but...Kid's smile was so nice, and his eyes weren't so strange when they were looking at him so softly...

"Don't worry. We're all your friends here. Go at your own pace, but know you're always safe here."

He knew he was blushing again, but he could nothing but nod mutely. Kid seemed so warm...

By the time he registered the familiar sensation of Ragnarok making an appearance, it was too late.

"Oh, just get over it, you two love-birds, and go at it on the bed already! The covers could use a good workout!"

Kid's jaw dropped as he stared at Ragnarok, making a strange strangled noise, and Crona felt like he was going to die right then and there.

"Ragnarok!!" He reached up, batting uselessly at the demon weapon, who evaded his hands with mad cackles. "Don't say such perverted things! I don't-and hey! No! Don't pinch my nose, it hurts! You're being rude in front of my friend, and--No, not the hair, Mr. Shinigami worked really hard to make it all even--!!"

"And I'm sure he'd like to muss it up even more when you're su--"

"Ragnarok, shut up!!" It quickly devolved into uncoordinated flailing, as Crona madly swatted at the black being to try to prevent the weapon from saying anything else, and Ragnarok was batting back, still cackling. Kid, for his part, stared at them with a stunned look on his face, as if he'd been hit by something hard.

"Oho, what's this?"

Both Crona and Ragnarok froze in place immediately at the cheerful voice, arms stretched out in awkward positions. Kid snapped out of his stupor, straightening up and looking at one of the mirrors in surprise.

"Father!"

The Grim Reaper stood in the mirror that adorned the closet door, head cocked to the side like a confused dog, but Crona could swore that despite the expressionless mask, the god was practically radiating amusement.

"I was wondering where young Crona wandered off to...it seems you've been taking care of him, Kid! Are you two playing nicely together?"

"Ah, Father, that is.." The normally-composed Kid stumbled for words for a few minutes, before clearing his throat. "I...was procuring a new wardrobe for Crona, considering he had only the one article of clothing."

"Is that so? Is that why there is a several-hundred-dollar charge on Shibusen's account from...let's see...Seaming Dead Tailors?"

Kid had the grace to look abashed. "W-Well, considering he's a valued guest, and a representative of Shibusen...I didn't...want him to be slighted by his appearance..."

"Several hundred dollars..." Crona echoed weakly, looking at the pile of bags. Had they really bought that much?

The older god laughed, waving one giant hand. "Ho ho ho, I understand. For little Crona, spend all you like, Kid, to make him feel comfortable! And I assume, from that pile of bags, you've decided we have a new addition to the household?"

"Well, the guest quarters in Shibusen aren't very accommodating, and here is safest..."

Crona could swear that the mask was smiling at him. "I understand, I understand! Enjoy your stay and make yourself right at home, Crona! After all, it is your home from now on, yes?"

Crona jerked slightly at being addressed. "W-Well, um, I-I guess...I mean...well...y-yes..."

Nodding, the image in the mirror began to ripple out, one giant hand waving again. "Well then, goodnight Kid, Crona!"

"Goodnight, Father."

"G-Good night..."

And with that, the vision of the Grim Reaper and the surreal space he lived in faded out, leaving only the reflection of themselves and the room.

Kid slumped slightly, as if a large worry had just left him. It was for only a moment though, and he soon straightened back up into his perfect posture, turning to smile once again at Crona.

"Well, it's very late, and school starts early. Breakfast is at eight, I'll come to get you then. Please be ready for school before then."

"U-uh, ah, y-yes..." Crona stuttered. He was still blushing, if his hot cheeks were any indication.

Giving him a nod, Kid headed for the door. "Well then, Crona, have a good sleep. I will see you tomorrow."

Watching as the young god of death exited the room, closing the solid door behind him, Crona could only stand and stare blankly for a few minutes. Looking around the room, he remembered all that had happened today.

Turning pleading eyes up towards the ceiling - also perfectly symmetrical - he said the only thing he could think of.

"I don't know how to deal with this!"

"Well, there's always your hand if the god-brat isn't going to oblige..."

"Ragnarok!!"

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End file.
